- In my house we’ve entered the land of “why?” and so this conversation happened: “Because Llama Llama Red Pajama doesn’t belong in the dishwasher. No, your farm animals don’t belong in the dishwasher either. Because that’s not where we wash them. No, we don’t wash our farm animals in Lucy Dog’s water bowl. Because that is water for drinking. No, that’s not water for you to drink. Because you are not a dog, you are a little girl. Yes, you do have bewbies.”
- Speaking of parts of our body that are covered by our bathing suit: Scarlette has a CD called “Fun Learning Songs” and typically I’ve tuned out by song number 14. You can really only take so much of “What Sound Does An A Make, What Sound Does An A Make, Ah, Ah, Ah” before you go crazy cakes. So we’re coloring yesterday when all of the sudden I hear something on track number 18 that made be all WHAT THE WHAT?! The premise of the song is great but hearing it set to a jaunty children’s tune was a bit jarring when you’ve been singing about how lions are animals that roar.
“A grownup should never, a grown up should never: ask you to find their puppy, ask you for directions, touch you where your bathing suit covers your skin. Grownups don’t need help from children, that is wrong. Don’t get in a strangers car, don’t get in a strangers car, YELL THAT’S NOT MY MOM! YELL THAT’S NOT MY MOM!”
- Did you know that if you drop your cell phone and the screen shatters into a million pieces and then you still try to use it because you are in denial about the whole thing? You’ll get little shards of glass stuck in your fingers.
- Also, did you know that cell phones screens are made of real glass and not some sort of cut-proof fake glass? Yeah, me either.
- I tried to get in someone else’s car no less than three times this week. The only thing that tipped me off that it wasn’t my car was the lack of a carseat.
- And also that time a girl walked up to me warily and said “Um, this is my car.” That was a big clue.
- None of said cars were even the same color as my car.
- I was expecting a package but Scarlette was napping so I put a sign on top of my doorbell that said “Baby Sleeping, Please Do Not Ring Doorbell, Thanks SMILEY FACE, SMILEY FACE, EXCLAMATION POINT!”
- You, UPS man who lifted the sign about not ringing the doorbell in order to ring the doorbell, YOU ARE DEAD TO ME.
- Also, thank you kindly for the package.