The thing about having PCOS is that your cycle is never regular. I just started this blog post with way too much information. Still, if you have any symptoms that might be related to pregnancy and you have PCOS, you are most likely going to decide to pee on a stick because though the possibility of pregnancy is small, it’s really just best to get the wondering out of the way.
This is why I found myself digging an emergency pregnancy test out of the bathroom drawer, just for the peace of mind. I didn’t really entertain the idea that I might actually be pregnant because if that were the case then I could only assume that either some sort of mass-failure had occurred on a very wide scale or that the Lord had decided I was a worthy candidate of immaculate conception. After many lengthy discussions with my doctors, everyone is in agreement that we keep our family to three and thus, the chance of conception is pretty darn low around these parts.
Which is precisely why when two pink lines immediately showed up on a pregnancy test, I promptly freaked the heckfire out.
I bundled Scarlette into the car and drove to the nearest drugstore, where I purchased one of each type of pregnancy test they had in hopes that somehow the one I had just taken was faulty. Note: it is a very, very weird feeling to go from years of infertility and tears shed over negative pregnancy tests to sobbing at the sight of a positive one.
The lady at the counter patted my shoulder as I sniffled my way through checking out. “I’m so sorry that I can’t stop crying, probably that is because I am pregnant.” I told her through my tears.
At home two more tests read NOT PREGNANT and NEGATIVE and I laid them all out on the counter trying to decide which one of these little buggers were telling me the truth. (I want the truth! YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!) The First Response test detected pregnancy the earliest and was positive but both of the Clear Blues were negative. I was all “THIS IS NOT A GAME OF MAGIC 8 BALL, TESTS!”
Then I looked at the tests again. A certain toddler’s obsession with Sesame Street has made me quite adept at recognizing when one of these things is not like the other and as I peered at the three tests lined up on the counter I realized that the First Response Test was missing the key code.
And also that it said Fertility Test on it.
And after some googling I learned that IT WASN’T EVEN A PREGNANCY TEST AT ALL.
And that apparently, all of these so called “Fertility Tests” have two lines on them, which is ridiculous because everyone knows that two lines are the universal way of saying “You’re Pregnant!”
I was all “How did this get in my bathroom drawer?!” when, upon further googling, I discovered that apparently, First Response included these fertility tests which look exactly like pregnancy tests as “bonus tests” in boxes of pregnancy tests.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE MARKETING PLAN, FIRST RESPONSE!
I remember that when I bought the last package of tests it said “Includes Bonus Test!” and that is probably why I bought it, because of how I love free stuff, but I never paid any attention to the fact that said bonus test wasn’t a pregnancy test at all because who would ever even notice that? And also because of how it looks exactly like a pregnancy test. Andplusalso because of my tendency to discard cardboard boxes immediately and dump out their contents in a drawer.
Then I felt a bit stupid because it very clearly says “Fertility Test” on the stick but I just assumed that was a fancy way of saying pregnancy test. It’s been a really long time since I’ve taken one of these due to the aforementioned decision to take many precautions against getting knocked up and having another baby that is smaller than a shoe.
In my defense, my best friend also did not notice that it said “Fertility Test” in the picture I sent her of the stick with two very pink lines via text message so obviously these things need to be A) reprinted to say something like “THIS IS NOT A PREGNANCY TEST” and B) NOT BE INCLUDED IN PACKAGES OF PREGNANCY TESTS.
(Dear future users of Google, frantically searching for information on pregnancy tests, you are welcome my friends. You. Are. Welcome.)
About Kayla Aimee
Oh. My. Word. I totally would have panicked too. Oh. My. Word.
We have also made the decision not to have any more babies. It breaks my heart a little, but the reasons are sound and I believe it is what God desires for our family. I understand the emotions involved.
It is such a weighty decision, and even when it’s a peaceful one it’s still a hard one.
For a variety of reasons I’m on a doctor mandated break from attempting to conceive (until late March/Early April). So this weekend I bought condoms for the first time in over 6 or 7 years. That felt weird.
This amused me because (and please be assured, I am not a stalker and whilst I do very much enjoy reading your blog and wish you and your family all the best, I don’t spend a great deal of time thinking about you) a few days ago I dreamed that you were pregnant again.
Odd, to say the least! I woke up wondering why I was dreaming about the pregnancies of bloggers I do not know, but now I can be relieved that I was merely anticipating this post!
Ha! Not a stalker- I have totally dreamed about bloggers kids, lol.
I would have had the same reaction. We’ve also made the difficult decision to keep our family of three like it is because of my history with recurrent pregnancy loss & our experience with a preemie. In fact, I did a post about it yesterday on NOLA Moms Blog. But anyway, I completely understand!!
I’d love to read if you’ll link me! Yeah, it’s a very hard choice to make, especially in a world where only-child families are not the norm!
OMG, I can breathe again! My first thought was “another beautiful Scarlette?” Then I remembered that you’ve already said you’re a happy family of three. And then I read your post through to the bottom and count me in on the “not a great marketing idea” petition…
This explains a lot. I too am I bonus box buyer and drawer dumper. I was cautiously excited when I got 2 lines on my test. And within a week I had what seemed like a normal period. Perhaps I too took a fertility test?
I am struggling with out decision not to have another child. My first baby was born at only 16.5 weeks. Too soon for life. I had 2 more losses and then finally a successful pregnancy. The test I took above was a “leftover.” It was the first time we TTC after my son was born. We tried one more time and then decided to stop. I couldn’t take the emotional roller coaster on top of having a toddler. Plus, I was afraid I would hold back on doing fun things with him while pregnant. I was also afraid of how my relationship with him would change. But as I approach my 40th birthday I feel like I am losing something more. I long to hold another baby, to feel the love in my heart grow. I thought I made peace with this, but it is just so hard. I do think our decision was right. I think I am just mourning.
I think that is normal. I definitely have twinges- when I see S with her cousins and want her to have a sibling, when I see very pregnant women and wonder what a full term pregnancy would be like, etc. But also know a pregnancy right now would mean full bedrest/constant monitoring with no guarantee of not delivering before 30 weeks. I can’t see how that is possible with an active, needy toddler. And then my health deteriorated so quickly in the hospital, I don’t want to leave my husband unexpectedly with two children. But mostly, I can’t stand the thought of another one of my children suffering the way Scarlette did. I know it’s RIGHT for is, but it isn’t without it’s own type of pain. So I think a bit of a mourning period is normal. I know I totally mourned the loss of a normal pregnancy and the loss of that newborn experience.
Hahah!!! This totally made my day!! Laughing so hard right now. I’m glad to know about this fertility test…because that would be very misleading to me and I’d freak the heckfire out too!
Ugh, so sorry! One thing to know about the First Response test is that it detects half as much HCG as the other tests in your picture. It is perfectly normal for it to show positive and the others to show negative. This happened to me in December with my chemical pregnancy. My FRER was positive and my internet cheapie was negative. I do know it was the pregnancy test, but it was still indicative of what was to come. I miscarried the next day.
Yes, this is what I was familiar with as well because I have had several chemical pregnancies. So since it was a 1st Response, I was like “THAT ONE MUST THE BE RIGHT ONE AND I AM PROBABLY PREGNANT EVEN THOSE THESE OTHER TESTS SAY THAT I AM NOT!” so finding out it wasn’t a pregnancy test at all was like !!!!!!!!
I’m so very sorry about your miscarriage. I walked that road for a long, long time before I had my daughter. Sending you lots of love.
Ok, I can’t help it. I am laughing so hard at you right now!
I am also really happy that your family is remaining the size that is best for you.
Oh Kayla…I forget how much our health issues are similar to each other. In my struggles with PCOS…my husband and I have dashed to purchase the “it’s absolutely not possible” pregnancy tests. My favorite was recently when the control line didn’t even show up…twice! How do you fail “peeing on a stick” twice? I share your frustrations today! Hugs to you & Scarlette!
don’t feel bad, my best friend did the same thing too. She was trying for her second, and immediately told everyone she was pregnant — only to then realize it was a fertility test.
WOW, that is crazy and I would totally have made the same mistake. As far as pregnancy tests go, I know this sounds weird, but I swear by the dollar store ones. They are actually some of the earliest accurate tests around, plus – hello – way cheaper than the ones from actual drugstores. I guess an added side bonus is that they’re from the dollar store so there’s no way you’re getting any frills like a freebie not-pregnancy-test snuck into your purchase! Holy cow, I’m still having a heart attack on your behalf.
After trying for 6 months (which I know doesn’t sound like a long time, but feels like an eternity-we’ve had one child born at 23 weeks and passed away 3 days later, and one born full-term but with problems that caused his passing after a few short hours) I did the same thing. The sad part is, I have the fertility/ovulation tests that look like the one you used, as well as pregnancy tests from Amazon that are basically the little strips without the plastic casing. I was really surprised to need a pregnancy test since we had only *ahem* tried once that month, but in my moment of cautious hope, I took the test. I was ecstatic when it came up “positive” I seriously carried that dang stick around for hours and stared at it and just grinned like a fool. It wasn’t until my partner came home and I gleefully waved it around that he gently asked, “Isn’t that an ovulation predictor?” I. was. crushed. That was in November and I can sort of look back and laugh. Sort of.
Haha! This cracked me up, girl! And I’ll admit – even though I *know* how truly scary another pregnancy could be – I teeny weeny hoped that you were. Just because you make such darn cute (smaller than a shoe) babies.
Relieved with you. And also in your corner about the labeling. Sheesh.
Well, get this one. When I got pregnant with my second son, I took the pregnancy test (First Response) and it came back negative. I happened to leave it on the counter as I was heading off to work. I came home 8 hours later and there were 2 faint lines, indicating that I was pregnant. I actually called the company to ask if it was valid. The lady told me to take another test. But that was quite strange. And if I might add this was with my “difficult” child so it probably makes sense that this happened….as other complications arose later and he was a difficult baby and toddler. Sorry, I’m rambling. In summary, glad it worked out!
The same thing happened to me with my youngest… a negative test that turned into a positive one. Weird!
Haha, this made my day! I’ll def have to remember that in the future
Oh My! You know I wonder if that is where my positive came from last year. I never thought to look at that. Totally frustrating and I am a bonus test buyer as well. When it comes to me testing (ocd at times, I am just hoping one of these days) I have to get the better bang for my buck, dh always jokes and says we should have bought stock in the pgt companies before I helped them become a billion dollar company
You are just the cutest person, K-A! Thank you for sharing your family’s personal decision. Since I first read your blog, I have been thinking what strong people you and your husband must be. Your decision took a lot of courage too.
Thanks for the sweet words Marianne! We’re so lucky to have our miracle baby that we’re just thankful that we get to be a family of three
Hello I did a lloyds pharmacy pregnancy test and had a faint line and I did a clere blue one and same an then I did a clere blue digital one and saying not pregnant what’s going on any help
I would trust the lines over the digital test personally- although the most reliable option might be to go to the doctor and have them do a test! I hope congratulations are in order
Thanks I will book in to see a Doc and see what they say x
I just want to no if I am or I ent
yup!