Scarlette At Home

#stuffscarlettesays |You Got It, Dude

April 17, 2013 By Kayla Aimee

I confess that I taught her to say “You Got It, Dude!” because I can’t take her anywhere without people stopping to tell me that she looks “just like that baby from Full House.” The rest of this stuff she came up with all on her own, y’all.

Scarlette just broke something and I was frustrated so I said “SCARLETTE!” and she threw her hands up and replied “What da heck? You welcome!” like “Woman, why aren’t you appreciating what I just did here?”
I gave Scarlette an M&M and she said “YEAH! NOW I HAPPY! I SO HAPPY M&M!

When Scarlette woke up this morning, she said “Oh, um hi. I wan two suhpwises” (I want two surprises) Apparently she has some expectations.
Today at the store, Scarlette pointed at a random woman and shouted “LOOK! A GRANDMA!”
Hearing Scarlette over the monitor upon waking: “Mama where you go? I jus don’t know where mama is! I don’t wike dat!
S kept chanting NO at me so I said “Scarlette, Mommy wants you to use a different word.” And she said “Um…Super Why?”
I just got on to Scarlette for being naughty & when I took something away she said “HEY WHAT DA HECK JUS HAPPEN?!”
Lately we’ve been doing “rest time” in the afternoon where she sits in her bed with a book and I take a breather. The other day I was at the end of my rope and I said “LITTLE MISSY!” and Scarlette tilted her head, held her hands out and asked “West time?”

KA: What did you dream about?
Scarlette: Muggys
KA: Oh, you dreamed about monkeys? What were the monkeys doing?
Scarlette: Eadin shoup. And shangin call me maybe*
(Eating soup and singing call me maybe)

KA: God loves Mommy and God loves Daddy and God loves Scarlette. Who else does God love? (This is where we normally say the names of other family members)

Scarlette: Um, mama? God wuv Super Why?
KA: Um, yes, God loves everybody so He definitely does love Super Why.
Scarlette: YEAH! WUV SUPER WHY! *very serious voice* “And cookies.”
KA: Probably God does love cookies. That’s why we have thin mints.

Later, we go to Publix and she gets a cookie from the bakery
KA: Scarlette, say can you say thank you?
Scarlette: Fank you. God wuv cookies.

KA: Are you ready to go to the store?

Scarlette: YEAH! I go dwibin in my cahsheat!

Conversation with Scarlette at naptime:
Scarlette: Oh, um, okay. BUT I need shum pappers.
KA: I don’t think you need any peppers. I think you need to lay down for naptime!
Scarlette: Oh, um, Mommy? BUT I ask first! I ask first pappers!
KA: Well, that was good that you asked so nicely but we don’t have any peppers. And it is time for nap.
Scarlette: Oh, um, okay. Den I need nine pacis.

Ways Scarlette tried to get out of going to bed:
“I needa wash ma ha-yunds!”
“I need to cwean shings!”
“I need shum corn!”
“I needa take shaw-yur!”
“I needa wock a baby!”
(Translations: “I need to wash my hands, I need to clean things, I need some corn, I need to take a shower, I need to rock the baby.”)

KA: Scarlette! You are super cold!
Scarlette: No! I Super WHY!

To our dog Lucy, in a very serious tone:
Scarlette: Shushi, I’s afwaid. I’s afwaid ub da wyuns. Oh no! What I do? I shang. “Gawud is bigger!”
(Point of reference: Daniel in the Lion’s Den is Scarlette’s favorite Veggie Tales movie. When we are scared, we sing about how God is bigger. Apparently, Lucy Dog is her confidant.)

16 Comments Filed Under: #stuffscarlettesays, Uncategorized Tagged With: lolz, stuffscarlettesays

#stuffscarlettesays | I Knew You Were Trouble When You Walked In

March 8, 2013 By Kayla Aimee

- She currently loves all things monkeys, which she calls “muggys.” I took her to a playdate and the first thing she said to the other little girl was “Oh, um, hi. Do you wuv muggys?”

- We don’t allow her to watch WordGirl but she is obsessed with the previews and begs us to let her watch it all day long. I think it is because there is a monkey in it. So she lays down in our bed and pretends to be asleep, saying “Oh, I sweepin! Ahshoo, ahshoo.” Then she throws the covers off, jumps up and and screams “OH NO! IT BITE ME ! IT BITE ME!” And when I asked “What bit you, baby?” she said “WUHDGUHL! WUHDGUHL BITE ME WHISE I SWEEPIN!” And THEN she grabs the television remote and says “NOW I WAT WUHDGUHL OKAY! I SAY NO BITE WUHDGUHL!” *

- I asked S if she was ready for bed & she said “no fank oo.” So I said “Well it’s bedtime” & she said “I don’t agwee”

- We were watching Veggie Tales and Bob The Tomato asked “Can you help me?” And Scarlette said ” I don’t know! I JUST DON’T KNOW!”

- I was on the phone with my sister when she asked me how Scarlette was. “Oh, she’s just a little mess of trouble right now” I told her. Then Scarlette started singing “Twubbuh, twubbuh, twubbuh, OH! OH! OH! TWUBBUH!” And my sister was silent for a second and then asked “Did your daughter just sing Taylor Swift to me?” And I was all “Yes, yes she totally did.”

- Scarlette said “pweese cookies?” When I told her that no, we were all done with cookies she held her hands out and said “no cookies even pwease?”

- She had a terrible cough and when I pulled out the stethoscope (preemie mama alert) to listen to her chest she yelled “OH NO! A SNAKE!”

- I took her outside to play in the snow for the first time ever. First she kept yelling “OH NO! IS RAY-NAN!” When I told her that it wasn’t raining, it was snowing she started yelling “OH NO! IS NOSIN!”

- When Scarlette is tired or hurt, I often say “Oh goodness” to her. As in: “Are you so tired? Oh goodness!” She is worn out from today so I just picked her up and asked “Scarlette, how are you feeling?” She laid her head on my shoulder and said “Mama, I Oh Goodness.”

- Scarlette, holding out a piece of pepperoni to Lucy Dog: “PUPPY! You wan sun cookies? OKAY PUPPY! OKAY!” Then she yanks the pepperoni away and yells “JUCHI! JUCHI NO BITES COOKIES!”

Conversation #1: Scarlette had been asking me ALL DAY for muffins so I told her I would make some while she napped and she could have one when she woke up. Here is the conversation that happened when I went in her room:

Scarlette: Oh, um hi. Wuh you in da titchen?

KA: Yes I was in the kitchen, I was making some muffins.

Scarlette: You make munkins? Wellll, maybe I hab some munkins? I don’t know! I juh don’t know munkins!

KA: Yes, you can have some muffins.

Scarlette: YEAH! I GO SWEEPIN AND DEN I HAB MUNKINS! OH HONEY!

Conversation #2: To understand this conversation, you should know that Scarlette refers to Curious George as “Dooche”

KA, holding out penguin pajamas: It’s time for jamas!

Scarlette: NOOOOOO!

KA: Well, we have to put on our pajamas at bedtime.

Scarlette: NOOOOO! *starts SOBBING UNCONTROLLABLY*

KA: Can you tell mommy why you are crying?

Scarlette: MUGGYS!!

KA: You want to wear your monkey pajamas? Okay, you don’t have to yell or cry, you can just say “Monkeys please”

Scarlette: MUGGYS PWEESE!

*Can’t find monkey pjs, offers Curious George pjs instead*

Scarlette, jumping up and down while clapping: DOOCHE! DOOCHE MUGGYS! YAY YAY YAY YAY JAMAS!”

Conversation #3: Scarlette’s new thing is to tell me “quack quack” in answer to everything and then laugh hysterically at herself.

KA: “Scarlette, mommy said no. That is not safe, don’t touch that.”

Scarlette: *touches again*

KA: “Scarlette Vonne! No ma’am! If you touch that again, you will have to sit in time out, do you understand?”

Scarlette: “QUACK QUACK!” *doubles over with laughter*

KA: “No, not quack quack. You may say ‘Okay, Mama’”

Scarlette: *whispers* “Okay, Quack Quack Mama”

*”She is a genius and we need her mind!” (Name that movie) Also, I have nothing against WordGirl, she’s just too young for it.

29 Comments Filed Under: #stuffscarlettesays

#stuffscarlettesays | Feels Good To Be A Gangsta

January 18, 2013 By Kayla Aimee

This is another new little series I plan on incorporating here. I have my blog printed in book form each year so I want to keep a running list of all the funny toddler talk that is going on in our house.

My favorite is that she has a bit of lisp, so that her S’s are pronounced with a G or an SH. For her birthday she got an overstuffed chair, which we refer to as her seat, and two months later she is still exuberant about it. Whenever we have people over, she points excitedly to it while yelling “Dat ma shi-yit! DAT MA SHI-YIT!”

She’s very gangsta. Here are some other funny things she has said lately:

“Mama! I shi-yit on Midder Bockadush!” - Said as she bounces up and down on top of her stuffed fox, named Mister Fox.

“Here go mama, gween bow!” - Said as she hands me an orange bow.

“Oh Mama, you wock da happo booka?” - asked when she saw me sitting in a rocking chair holding a book adorned with a hippopotamus on it’s cover

Scarlette: “Daee wuhk?”
Mommy: “Yes, Daddy is at work”
Scarlette: “Oh. Do you wan go wuhk?”

Mommy: “Scarlette, are you ready to eat breakfast?”
Scarlette: “Ya! Ya! EGGS!”
Mommy: “You want me to fix you some eggs?”
Scarlette: “No, I don’t wike eggs.”

Mommy: “Good morning, would you like some breakfast?”
Scarlette: “No, I wan dance! Pokey pokey ashies pall down!”

Mommy: “Scarlette, if you pull Lucy Dog’s tail again, you will have to sit in time out.”
Scarlette: “Ya! I wike time ow-yut!”

Mommy: “Scarlette, what is on your pajamas?”
Scarlette: “Tucks! Tucks yamas!”
Mommy: “Good try but actually, those are penguins on your pajamas.”
Scarlette: “Ning Nans! Ning Nans QUACK QUACK!”

Mommy, hollering over my shoulder in answer to Jeff “Kay!”
Scarlette: “LMNOP! Shupa Why!”

14 Comments Filed Under: #stuffscarlettesays

#stuffscarlettesays | Booka, Booka

January 10, 2013 By Kayla Aimee

Scarlette is tugging at my pants leg saying “Shad. Shad! SHAD! SHAADDD!!!!” and bewildered, I respond “I have no idea what you are trying to tell me. Show mommy what you want.”

So she runs to her room and starts pointing at her bookshelf saying “BOOKA! SHAD! BOOKA BOOKA SHAD!”

And I’m still at a total loss here because for the most part when she wants me to read a certain book to her, she tells me at least one word in the book’s title. Like how every single night at bed time she starts yelling “YAMA! YAMA!” after we brush her teeth and then when I pull out Llama, Llama Red Pajama she jumps up and down with excitement yelling “CHIT-UN SHINK!” For some reason, she is very obsessed with the page where Mama Llama is washing dishes in the kitchen sink.

Probably it’s a fascinating concept to her, seeing someone use the sink in the manner it is intended for, rather than piling it with dirty dishes until there are no more clean plates and you’re forced to load the dishwasher.

She’s all, “What a novel idea, WASHING the dishes in the sink! I should repeatedly ask my own mother to read this book so that she can learn exactly what it is that mamas are supposed to do around here. I mean, the llamas have it figured out, for Pete’s sake!”

Scarlette is very into cleaning, as evidenced by all the days where she walks around behind me with a dishrag and a squirt bottle filled with water and pretends to clean the furniture. Or all the times where she fishes the toilet bowl scrubber out of the stand and runs it around the inside of her potty chair.

It would be super cute if I thought she was just imitating what she sees me do throughout the day but seeing as I have no illusions about the standard of housekeeping I maintain and my general lack of domestic skills, I can only assume that she is attempting to fill a void here.

Anyhow, since I could not figure out what “SHAD” was referring to, I began holding up one book at a time. Each one was met with a trembling lip and a “NOOOOOO!! NO BOOKA!” until I reached Dumbo and then she bounced up and down and said “YA! YA NUMMO!” and I was all “I DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOUR LANGUAGE, WEE ONE!”

A few pages in she pointed to a photo of Dumbo with a big tear rolling down his cheek and said “Oh Mama, Nummo shad. Shad, shad, shad.”

And then the proceeded to do a few fake sniffles.

And THEN she leaned over and kissed the book.

And it was the very first time in my life that I have ever enjoyed the story of Dumbo.

6 Comments Filed Under: #stuffscarlettesays, Uncategorized

“She fell down and broke her crown”

December 13, 2012 By Kayla Aimee

before the incident, my feisty girl

I had another post planned for today. But then my two year old went and split her head open and I decided to write about that instead because SERIOUSLY, SCARLETTE?! SERIOUSLY?!

The Lord has blessed me with a child and that child is trying to put me in an early grave.

She weighed less than two pounds and was bound up in a bundle of wires that snaked along her isolette and ended in the continued beeping coming from a screen that told us she was breathing erratically. But when the nurse moved to put a stethoscope to her tiny chest, she reached out with her fist, smaller than a quarter, and smashed it repeatedly into the nurse’s arm. It felt like the brush of a butterfly but it was strong and sure and insistent.

“This baby, remarked the nurse, is going to be a handful when she grows up.”

Cue yesterday.

It was the first day that I had put her down for a nap in her toddler bed, having converted the crib because she was attempting to launch herself headfirst over the front of it. I fretted, both because my baby was growing up so fast and also because even in sleep Scarlette can’t remain still. I worried she would fall out of bed.

I laid her down with a few books and watched on the monitor as she read herself to sleep, overtired from that morning’s gymnastics class. She had learned to do backward rolls.

It was completely uneventful, the transition, and I was simultaneously feeling bittersweet over the moment and relieved that she hadn’t ended up in the floor. Or climbing a bookshelf. Or hanging from the chandelier. She woke up, looked around and then asked me for lunch.

She was sitting at her tiny, toddler sized table eating peanut butter rolls and strawberries when she asked me for more milk. I moved toward the kitchen with her thermos and saw her twist sideways to follow me. And in the sort of slow motion vision that you acquire when you are standing on one side of a room and your child is falling on the other, I watched as she slipped and went over backwards.

The rocking chair is there, with the little padded bench that sits at its feet. A little padded bench with about half an inch of a wooden corner exposed in a big, open, baby-proofed room and I dropped the milk as the back of her head snapped against it and her face twisted in a soundless cry.

When I pulled my hand away from her head it was covered in blood. “Head wounds bleed” I told myself as I settled her on the counter and begin washing the blood from her hair so that I could better see. Only when I did, I quickly grabbed her bag and threw some shoes on her because I knew for sure that she needed stitches.

She wasn’t even crying anymore, instead she was protesting. “NO WAY! PRETTY SHOES!” she yelled at me as I grabbed the closest ones to us, a pair of plain slip on boots. I had promised her that she could put her glitter shoes back on after naptime and apparently, slicing her head open did not affect her memory.

When I arrived at Urgent Care I was attempting to fill out paperwork and hold pressure on her head when I discovered that in my haste, I had forgotten my wallet. I keep an extra insurance card and checkbook in my diaper bag so I wasn’t worried but then they told me that they wouldn’t treat her without a photo ID. I didn’t have a photo ID. Except that maybe…

“Um, I know this might sound crazy but I have a business card. And it has my photo on it. Will that work?”

And then I handed them one of my mommy cards that I had printed from Minted, which has this website on it, which they pulled up on the computer and then said it could count as my ID.

And then they peppered me with a lot of questions about what I do for a living. “Well, I sort of write about parenting…” I trailed off as I thought about how that sounded coming out of my mouth while I stood in there waiting for someone to stitch up my daughter’s head and asking them to verify my identity on the internet because I didn’t have any ID with me.

While we sat and waited for the numbing cream to take effect, I dug in my bag for something to entertain Scarlette because despite the fact that she had cut her head open, she wanted to RUN around the waiting room. SERIOUSLY, SCARLETTE?!

Ironically, the only book I had in my bag was her current favorite “Eight Silly Monkeys” and so I sat in the waiting room, Scarlette on my lap, blood trickling from the back of her head and read “One fell off and bumped his head. Mama called the doctor and the doctor said…”

‘This is like you, I told her, you fell and bumped your head and now we are going to see the doctor to get all better.”

“Head! Shoulders! Toes!” she replied knowingly.

When they moved us to the exam room she perked up further, pointing enthusiastically to the eye chart on the wall across from us. “E! G! R! T! D!” she yelled as the nurse took her temperature. So the good news is that A) my child is a genius and B) her eyesight is impeccable. (What now, retinopathy of prematurity?!)

My Scarlette, she is brave. I laid on my back on an exam table, pressing her closely to my chest as they put two staples in the back of her head and she fingered my necklace, shed thirty seconds of tears and then asked the doctor for a sweet when she was finished. They gave her two lollipops.

Back at home, we laid on my bed and I turned on Super Why to try to keep her still. A futile effort as she continued to attempt turning somersaults across the comforter. “Scarlette! Be still! No flips, your head is broken!” I told her.

Later Jeff would arrive home and greet her at the top of the stairs.

“Scarlette! What happened today?” he questioned as she ran to see him.

She spread her hands and opened her eyes wide as she answered,

“Welllll, I bwoken.”

(Except that you are so perfectly whole.)