Overheard At The DMV, Part One



I had to go to the DMV last week to renew my driver’s license. Apparently, you can no longer do this online and you have to take seven pieces of identification plus the blue heart diamond from the Titanic movie in order to drive in Georgia. THEY DON’T MAKE IT EASY, that is what I am saying.

After pulling into the parking lot I realized that I had snagged the very last space. Since I arrived right when they opened, it occurred to me that this was very possibly both a blessing and a curse. This fact was cemented when I took my place at the end of line and listened to the DMV lady tell person after person after person in front of me that the wait was already over two hours long.

Seriously, the conversations went something like this:

Random Person In Line At The DMV: “How long is this going to take?”
DMV Lady: “Right now the wait is at least two hours.”
Random Person: “What?! Even if I only need to renew?”
DMV Lady: “Yes.”
Random Person: “Just for a renewal?”
DMV Lady: “Yes.”
Random Person: “What if I go to the other DMV location?”
DMV Lady: “I have no idea how long their wait times are.”
Random Person: “WHY IS IT GOING TO TAKE SO LONG?”

And I’m standing there listening to this line of questioning occurring again. And again. And again. And I am like BECAUSE OF YOU AND ALL YOUR QUESTIONS THAT YOU LITERALLY JUST HEARD HER ANSWER.

I was venting about this to the girl in line in front of me over the course of the thirty odd minutes we stood chatting together. And then she was called up to the counter and I was a bit sad to be parted from my newfound friend until she looked at the DMV lady and said,

“How long is this going to take? EVEN IF I ONLY NEED TO RENEW?”

SMH.

Obviously none of these people have a two year old who is currently in the habit of taking off all her clothes and running through the house nekkid while yelling “I POOPIN!” I was all “Two hours? THIS IS LIKE A VACATION!”

Thirty.

2ndBirthday_family
Today I turn thirty.

I know lots of people turn twenty nine several times but I am not one of those people. The worst part of turning thirty for me is that it’s going to be a pain to change my blog description on all of my different social media platforms.

I am happy to be turning thirty mostly because it is entering my thirties that I can first say with confidence that I like myself.

I didn’t use to, a fact that was glaring evident to the people in my life and I’m sure bled through the lines of my writing in the early years of this blog. My self hatred began in middle school and kept me in it’s devastating grip through college, when I couldn’t look in a mirror without turning away in disgust. It was deep and dark and it defined me.

But now I no longer feel anxious around other people, keeping a silent critique of my behavior in my head, running a mental comparison of how I look, wondering if anyone will even like me.

(In fact, maybe the pendulum has swung a little far to the other side because seriously, why wouldn’t people like me? I am awesome.)
(Just kidding. Sort of.)

Because I know now that my worth isn’t determined by anyone else and that gives me the freedom to fully embrace joy.

 She is worth far more than rubies – Proverbs 31:10

This isn’t to say that my life is perfect by any means. There are plenty of hurts that need healing and struggles that I don’t share in this space. But I do feel incredibly blessed that because of my husband and those of you who read here, I am able to do the two things I love most: staying home with Scarlette and wielding a pen to write stories. So thank you for the inbox of birthday wishes and for being a part of helping all of my dreams unfold over the last decade. The new one is a beautifully blank slate that I can’t wait to fill.

And to the teenage girls who read here, the ones who sometimes write me letters about boys and heartache and dreams, I promise that it all gets better. And you are worth more than rubies.

(Now I am off to giddily collect all of my birthday freebies, in case you were worried that I’d gone and grown up too much)

What I Wore Wednesday, Instagram Edition

So, I’m pulling together some outfits for an upcoming trip and decided to look back through my #wiww posts on instagram for some inspiration from my closet. Turns out, almost 90% of the outfits in my what-i-wore-wednesday pics were from Stitch Fix. This is partly due to the fact that Wednesdays are the days that we have a few standing appointments and mommy + baby classes. Thus, on Wednesdays I actually put on real clothes.

But my whole point of trying out Stitch Fix to begin with was that I wanted a more grown up wardrobe, what with being almost thirty and still being mistaken for a high schooler practically every day of  my life. You know what would help with that? Not shopping at the high schooler stores in the mall. I know, I had that revelation a little late in life, y’all.

So a year ago, inspired by the book 7 and my desire to not look like a 12 year old, I donated most of my clothes and decided to build a simple, smaller, flexible and more grown up wardrobe piece by piece.  I was totally skeptical of the service starting out but looking back over the past six+ months, I’m really happy to see that the same pieces show up again and again which means slowly and surely, I’m accomplishing that goal.

Also, I’m getting my hair cut Saturday. Bangs or no bangs?
stitch fix, stitch fix review, stitch fix blogger
stitch fix, stitch fix review, stitch fix blogger
stitch fix, stitch fix review, stitch fix blogger
(I used my Stitch Fix referral code because obviously I would love for you to use it if you decide you’d like to try out the service but you totally can just sign up for the wait list without it if you prefer! You can read my other posts on Stitch Fix and how it all works here and here. No one paid/perked me to write this, I just wanted to play along with WIWW today!)

Party Like It’s Your Birthday: The Big List of Birthday Freebies

list of birthday freebies
Since I turn thirty this week ( I KNOW, RIGHT?!) I thought I’d bring back this post from last year that lists all the stuff you can get for free on your birthday. Also, I updated this list as I found more freebies and I don’t think I need to tell you how excited I am to have even more choices for my birthday roundup this year. Andplusalso, look how little Scarlette was this time last year!

Happy Birthday
You know how when someone tells the waiter it’s your birthday and you’re all embarrassed when everyone stares at you as they bring out your free dessert while singing “Happy Birthday” ? Yeah, no not me. I flippin’ love that.

As you probably know by now, I love free stuff. And also? I love my birthday. So free stuff + my birthday = ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I’ve signed up for pretty much every birthday freebie out there and then I spend my birthday out and about enjoying all my free stuff. Like, my plan today is to go to the mall and get a free slice of cookie cake, my free gifts from Sephora and Aveda, a free drink from Starbucks and shop with my birthday coupons. And that’s all before lunch.

I’ve been meaning to compile this list for y’all for awhile so consider it my birthday present to you. I put my favorites first and then all of the free food/drink items are in alphabetical items. Now go sign yourself up for all of these birthday freebies while I treat myself and Scarlette to some free fro-yo! (Seriously, spending my birthday with Scarlette is pretty much the best)

KA’s Fave Birthday Freebies 

GEORGIA AQUARIUM: Free admission on your birthday (I love the aquarium!)

SEPHORA: A free gift (the 2012 gift is the Fresh Sugar Kisses Lip Duo)

SWAGBUCKS: You get 50 free swagbucks on your birthday! So be sure to enter your birthday when you sign up because there isn’t a place to input it later (probably to discourage people from changing their birthday all of the time to get more swagbucks) Also, that’s my swagbucks referral link and I’m using it because hello! It’s my birthday!

SMASHBOX: Free makeup set

ANTHROPOLOGIE: 15% off coupon

AVEDA: A free gift (You have to pick it up in store but it’s typically a full size product! I just got my 2013 card and it’s for a full-sized body care product of my choice. Sweet! Also, that is my Aveda referral link because, again, I’m partying like it’s my birthday!)

STARBUCKS: Free drink (you have to register in advance)

DSW SHOES: $5 birthday gift card

BENEFIT: Free birthday brow arch

CVS: $3 in Extra Bucks Rewards

WORLD MARKET: Free birthday surprise

AMERICAN EAGLE: 15% off birthday coupon

OLD NAVY: Free birthday surprise (usually a $ off coupon)

AMF BOWLING CENTER: Free birthday gift

ACADEMY SPORTS: $5 birthday giftcard (confession: I normally use it to get Jeff a couple of cans of tennis balls)

PAYLESS SHOES: 20% off birthday coupon

DISNEY MOVIE REWARDS: 100 bonus birthday points (obviously I added this one after becoming a parent)

ACE HARDWARE: $5 birthday coupon (I feel like such an adult for looking forward to this)

Yummy Edible Birthday Freebies (aka I just drive around eating free food the week of my birthday. And by free food, I mean ice cream. So much ice cream.) (click the READ MORE button to see the full list because it’s pretty long. I might have a problem)  [Read more...]

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#stuffscarlettesays and Other Shenanigans

this is what happens when I attempt to take her picture

this is what happens when I attempt to take her picture

So once upon a time before I had a kid of my own, I had a friend whose child was extremely precocious. “I sincerely hope that my child is this hilarious” I told her after she told me about finding their cat covered in nail polish. “Be careful what you wish for” she told me. I recalled that conversation last night, when I was searching the house for Lucy Dog who I could hear whimpering but could not find. I could not find, until, that is, I asked Scarlette if she had seen Lucy and she told me “I Shushie da twash!” And that is how I found Lucy locked in our pantry, with Scarlette trailing behind me proudly declaring “YEAH! I SHWOW SHUSHIE DA TWASH!”

Scarlette: Um, Mommy? You dwaw me da ABCDEFG?
KA: Yes, I’ll write the ABC’s for you.
Scarlette: OH YETH! I SHO HAPPY! NOW I SHO HAPPY ABCDS! SHANKS, MOMMY!

*

(I tell Scarlette that I will be able to color with her when the clock has two ones on it. It is 11:05)
Scarlette: Um, okay Mommy? Two wansh! Two wansh, Mommy!
KA: You’re right, it is two ones. Mommy just needs one more minute to finish up though, baby.
Scarlette (throw her hands up in the air): WHAT?! WHAT ISH GOIN ON?!

*
Scarlette: I eat da gwapes. I eat da gwapes. I eat anudder gwape. I eat da gwapes.
(Freezes mid bite and widens her eyes)
OH NO! I EAT DA BEGGIE TALES!

*

(While I am working in the yard)
Scarlette: Um, okay what you makin? What doin Mommy?
KA: I’m digging some ditches.
Scarlette: A bitchin? YEAH! A BITCHIN! I MAKE WAN A BITCHIN!

*

Scarlette: NO CWIMBING SHCARYUT! NO CWIMBING!
(Said as she climbs on top of a piece of furniture I just finished telling her not to climb on)

*

(Dumps a bowl of water on her head)
Scarlette: OH NO! WHA JUSHT HAPPEN?! WHA JUSHT HAPPEN TO MY HEAD?!

*

(Scarlette has a nightmare so I go in to check on her)
KA: What’s wrong baby? Why are you crying?
Scarlette: Um, Mommy? Oh. Did you tuhn obb da tv?”
KA: Well, yes, I turned the tv off earlier today.

*

KA: Scarlette, you need to eat your lunch
Scarlette: Well….mayyyybe. Is da Dannel Tiger eedin his wunch wight now?
KA: Yes, Daniel Tiger is eating his lunch right now too.
Scarlette: Um, okay Mommy. I eed da wunch! Now I need da mac n teeses!
KA: Well, it’s not time for mac n cheese. It’s time for peanut butter and jelly.
Scarlette: Yesh. Da peanut bur jewwy time wid a bashebaw bat
KA: *dies laughing*
(And now you know what I do when I am making sandwiches:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRBOgtp0Hac)

*

Playing basketball with Scarlette, she hit the rim and said “OH NO! I MISSHED IT! NOW I SHO SHO SHAD!” Then she sat on the floor and pretended to cry. THEN she jumped up and said “SHCARYUT!! NOW YOU TWY TWY AGAIN!”

*

Scarlette just walked over to the porch and yelled “Shushie! Ju det inshide dis houshe WITE NAO!” Lucy Dog is on the couch. Apparently “Lucy! You get inside this house right now!” is something I yell often.

*

You should know: I am super self-conscious about my bony shoulders. So I was just bending down in a tank top and Scarlette started rubbing my shoulders and said “HEY! WHY ELBOWS?!”

*

I call Scarlette “doodlebug.” Standing in line at the store, the man next to us said “Cmon doodlebug” to HIS kid. And Scarlette started screaming “NO! NO!!”